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artistunknown
I've been interested in animation for longer than I can remember. I'm mostly self taught, and seem to be improving with everything I release. I hope to one day further my skills. I love making cartoons.

Age 29, Male

Animator

Florida

Joined on 12/13/08

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Giving Up (For Now)

Posted by artistunknown - January 5th, 2018


Yeah, so probably not the best way to start off the new year, but it's what's happening, so... yeah.

I've been saying for the longest time that I "have to get a job soon" well the time has finally come.  I don't know what will happen if I DON'T get a job, so I don't want to risk it, as much as I fear I'll fuck it up, or I just don't want to do it, the consequences of not getting one will probably be a lot worse.  And who knows, maybe the fear is for nothing, maybe getting a job and being forced into a situation where I have to be more social and listen to orders and perform tasks under pressure will actually make me better instead of causing me to break down.  Maybe.

What does any of that have to do with anything though?  Well, I had a whole schedule planned out for this year, I was planning on releasing 76 videos during the year (mostly on youtube), but now that the job thing is imminent, I've decided to just scrap everything and focus on making what I want, when I want, which means I'll be working on more personal projects and just finishing up things that have been long overdue.  Mainly though, I will be focusing on bettering myself and getting over all of my mental bullshit, because it's really been getting in the way of making things.

As for why it took so long for this to finally happen, well, the thing that has been holding me back from getting a job for so long is having an expired ID, which costs $40 to renew.  Why did it take so long to get $40?  Mainly laziness.  How did I even get that money without a job?  I certainly didn't ask for it (okay I did a few times but ended up spending it on food and other things because at the time I couldn't actually use it for the ID for a few reasons but that's a story for another time).  Since February 2015, AKA, when this whole "needing to get a job" thing started, I've been using a website called Opinion Outpost, where you can take surveys for cash.  No it isn't a scam, you actually do get paid, I've made a decent bit of money from it in the last 3 years.  I wouldn't recommend it though unless you're really desperate or have nothing better to do.  I hate it so much, the surveys take forever and the pay is very little.  Sometimes you get lucky and get a fun, quick survey that pays a lot, but for the most part, it's awful.  This is part of the reason why now is the time to get a job, I'm fucking tired of taking surveys, it takes too much time and isn't worth it.  Even now that I have the money for my ID, I'll still have to take them until I get a job because I still need money for food.  But yeah, the main reason I have to get a job now, is just 'cause I've been living back with my mom and (now) step-dad for a year now, and I haven't contributed much monetarily (I've contributed a lot in other ways, and haven't got much appreciation for it, but whatever it's fine), so it's time for me to stop being useless and shit (also there were some threats but maybe I'll talk about that later).

But yeah, I wrote and recorded 3 separate update videos where I said all this, each time it got shorter and shorter, and I was not satisfied with either of them, or I once again changed my mind after making them.  I was gonna release the 2nd one, but it was rambly and was just really depressing, but it covered basically everything I've said up to this point.   Ultimately I released the 3rd one, a short, scripted update that just vaguely covers the situation, and I expanded on it in the comments.  I don't know why I didn't expand on my plans for the year in the video itself, I guess I forgot, or I just watned to get it over with, I don't know.

But yeah, now that things are different, what ARE my plans for this year?  Well, to keep my youtube channel from dying, I'll be streaming some animation and other stuff at least once a week, and I MIGHT upload one short a month if I feel like it.

My main project for the year though is Gripp, a 5 episode mini-series that deals with themes of depression, attempted suicide, and drug addiction.  Some if it is based off personal experiences, some of it is based off experiences of others, experiences I have either been a part of, or have observed.  It's serious and meaningful, but it's still got some comedic relief here and there, because of course I couldn't write something entirely serious.  I'm hoping to get it out by august, but with working on it while also working a job, I don't know how long it'll take to make.  The whole series is about 24 minutes long, so at the very least I'd estimate it'd take 8 months to make, based on past experiences, and that's working FULL TIME, so I don't know.  I've gotten feedback on the scripts from a few people though, and they've said it's good, so hopefully people like it.  I'll be sharing more details later when I actually have something to show.

In addition to that, there will also be a 12 episode live action series of skits that me and @RECONmasterFILMS wrote and (mostly) filmed last year.  We've still got 2 episodes to film and then we gotta put the whole thing together, but that'll be airing in the fall.  They're skits, but there is a loose storyline, and the finale is definitely different, so hopefully people like it.  I like it.

That's basically it I guess.  Sorry to disappoint everyone, but you know, sometimes in order to get ahead, you've just gotta give up.  Temporarily at least.


1

Comments

(sorry in advance for text wall)
Holy hell, you remind me a lot about myself, and how I got to where I am now. I also had to deal with the "must get job" thing, and at first, I kinda skirted around that by running an eBay store for 3 years... seemed like a good idea at the time, occasional got "ok" money, usually didn't, especially near the end, when my motivation for it started to dwindle, and I realized that there were better opportunities elsewhere. Didn't help that I was deathly afraid of screwing up both the interview process and the keeping-the-job process. Long story short, I have a job now, at Publix (a store here in Hurricane Alley). If I, a socially-awkward, stupidly self-conscious numbnut (and an anxiety and adhd ridden aspie) can do pretty ok at his job for 6+ months, you should probably do fine. Good luck, mate

Oh shit, that's like almost exact to my situation, scarily close lol.

It does help reassure me that things will be fine though, so thank you for sharing ;3

If it's minimum wage, it's almost impossible to fuck up the interview. Each place has it's little quirk, and that's about it. The Subway up here requires you to call back after the interview within three days before they'll actually consider hiring you. Doesn't matter if you were polite or answered all their questions properly. You HAVE TO call them. Not sure if that's just here or in all the stores. As for where I work, all you gotta do is act like this shitty job is the greatest opportunity ever. The exact words were "If they think they're too good for the job, then we don't want them!" Now, this is minimum wage. If they could legally pay you less money, they would. The very idea that you must believe something like that is too good for you is ridiculous. If a person truly believed he wasn't good enough to work the sales floor of a grocery store, then how utterly stupid must that dumb motherfucker be? Even then, we have two of those individuals in our department. They couldn't even fill out the standard forms about themselves by themselves. Our store still hired them. If those clowns can bumble themselves into the deli department despite lacking a pair of brain cells to rub together into a single, competent thought, then you should be just fine. If you know what one-half is as a decimal, you're overqualified. Just be sure to not let them know you're overqualified.

I couldn't get a min. wage job back when I lived in South Florida though. There were more people than jobs, so it was common practice to throw out the resume if a person wasn't needed at that very moment. Of course, all job applications back then were on paper, so I'm sure most just tossed them into the trash the moment I left to avoid having to actually file them somewhere for thirty days like the applications claimed they would do.

Good luck to you, Billy. If I wasn't in the hole for 9k at the moment, I would have paid you the $12 on your Patreon to help you not feel worthless for a year. Still, you can make cartoons. I can barely draw on paper, so feel good knowing you're worth more than me (and plenty of other people, as well. I'm sure of that.)

Thank you for the encouragement, it's really appreciated ;3

I don't think I'll have trouble finding a job, last time I looked there were a ton of them available. When I think about it, I'm probably in a good area right now. I don't wanna say the town is small, because there's a lot of people and whatever, but it's not really urban since everything's kinda spread out, but there's been a lot of development going on, so more businesses are opening up and whatever, but even then, all the businesses that were there before are still looking for people constantly.

I'd imagine it'd be a minimum wage job, at the very least I would only be getting a part time job, because I don't actually need THAT much to survive, with my living arrangements, plus, you know, more time for animating ;3

Thank you for the stories of your braindead co-workers, gave me a laugh and encouragement.

No need to worry about not giving to the patreon, just the fact that you would even consider it is unbelievable to me. It's a very kind gesture.

Again, thank you for the kind words ;3

Hey, good luck on that job front. Honestly, I'm in your boat. I have to get a job, but I've been trying for years. It's just that nobody wants a college educated, degree toting 22-year-old who's been working under the table for years, lol.

Also, holy crap. 70+ videos in a year. I laud you for your drive.

Man that sucks. Luckily for me, most of the jobs around here don't even require a high school diploma, so I should hopefully not have any trouble, but the fear that I'll mess something up is still there, but I'm not gonna let that stop me ;3

Yeah, my plans are always ambitious lol I used to be able to follow through on them, but my will to actually work on things has diminished quite a bit. Maybe after getting a job I'll get that drive to work on more ambitious things, too bad I just won't have as much time! Oh the struggle lol

Best of luck man, you're going to successful at least. I hope you can get back to NG soon, for now make your job a priority!

Thanks ;3

If you need any help with editing that series, I would love to work with you! (not paid, of course)

Hey, thanks for the offer! I'm assuming you're talking about the live action series since I'm not sure how much editing could really be done for Gripp. Either way, it would definitely be interesting to see how that would turn out. I'll keep you in mind if it seems like we're running out of time and need editing assistance. Might be a bit of a pain sending files though since the footage is in 4K lol